who am i and why am i in your e-mails?

i guess an introduction is in order, right? grab a coffee and jump right in!

I want to be all like “Welcome to my twisted mind” à-la 2010s Tumblr, but I’ll refrain from that kind of cringe for now. I am starting this blog/newsletter thing because I have a lot of thoughts and little ways to let them out, and I figured this could be a good opportunity to fight the mortifying ordeal of being known and let my thoughts out in the open.

“The operative fallacy here is that we believe that unconditional love means not seeing anything negative about someone, when it really means pretty much the opposite: loving someone despite their infuriating flaws and essential absurdity. (…) If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known."

Fun, huh?

A little about me: I am currently working as a tester, UX writer and localization specialist in a game company, and while these are not the only things I do, it is the most relevant part of my job for this newsletter. This job taught me how the game creation process works, how are the elements in the game are designed and how it is possible to create something from scratch with a solid team effort. I think it gave me a different perspective from a regular consumer and I want to explore fictional creations more in-depth using this aspect of my experience.

I grew up as the kid who is always cheerful and bright but also introverted. I have always been entranced by fictional media such as books, video games, TV series etc. and I always aspired to analyse them in more details: “Why did this character do that? How does the world affect this character’s actions?”. Honestly, when I was younger, I wasn’t really thinking of these questions consciously, it was more of a want to become more involved in the world that was created. Now however, I find it very interesting to try to decipher character motivations and worldbuilding.

People tell me often that I have the ability to immediately just jump into the fictional world and put myself in the character’s shoes quite easily. I had never thought of it that way, but I guess it is true. I cannot watch scary movies or violent scenes for this reason. There was a time where I wanted to suppress this part of me, and I would “brag” that I wouldn’t be affected by anything I watch. I have since learned to stop doing that and let myself be immersed in whatever I was watching, reading or playing. Now, it’s instant waterworks when something sad happens on screen.

I want to use this part of me as a strength and let my thoughts out in the open, in hopes that maybe they will resonate with someone. So throughout this journey, you will get to witness my thought process on the latest hyperfixation I have, which is usually unfortunately a more obscure piece of media that my close friend and family circle will have never heard of. If you are one of those people, thank you and I’m sorry.

I am planning to keep this newsletter as a kind of game/book/movie review platform, but I might actually go deeper with more abstract concepts if I can. I find narrative design very interesting but difficult and hard to balance depending on the medium, and I am so excited to talk more about it in depth in this newsletter. Hopefully it will be a fun experience for everyone involved!